Let's watch Shepard's ass save the galaxy!

[Azira]

Yay! Update! Woo!

 

[overtenemy]

Feros had to be the worst part of all Mass Effect, and in my opinion sums up perfectly how Bioware screwed up the game. You should've pointed out in the update how not only is there no actual consequence for saving/killing the colonists, but trying to justify killing them doesn't work at all. The idea is, of course, that the mission takes absolute priority and that you can't risk failing it by taking the harder and more complicated road and taking them down non-lethally. Unfortunately, this doesn't hold up at ALL, because especially on higher difficulties, using the grenades to incapacitate them is easier. And not just easier, but incredibly easier. They have a GIGANTIC radius, and any colonist even scratched by it will just fall over. Now, if you were required to inject them with something in melee, or had been required to perform a lengthy and complicated task to save the colonists, it might have all added up, but combined with the fundamentally flawed design of the encounter, and the lack of any real consequence outside of paragon/renegade points, Feros epitomizes this games fucking failure.

 

[RK47]

That is somewhat true, but the game wasn't that challenging to begin with. Holding left mouse button while backpedalling is not too hard.

 

[overtenemy]

If you edit the ini so you can play insanity on your first run, it starts off as difficult, then becomes easy. But either way, even when its easy, the issue with insanity is that enemies have alot of hitpoints, meaning the nerve gas is much QUICKER, killing dozens of them instantly within ridiculous radius, rather than having to shoot them all, which can take alot of time.

Either way, the point I'm making is that the Feros encounter is completely flawed to the core, and that while I want to like Mass Effect on grounds of being a space marine secret agent with a license to kill, stupid shit like this just kills it. Alot of the renegade "win at any cost" choices are ridiculous, especially this one, and the one at the end of the game.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

Dunno if someone mentioned it already, but I think the clinic shootout with Garrus is optional. In my first play (renegade), I just went after Wrex and asked for his help, ignoring Garrus and Harkin completely. Wrex said that together we could just kill the bodyguards. Didn't even talk to Harkin, dunno if he was killed in the crossfire. So yes, that was a genuine choice...

...ruined somewhat when I met him later, as I was entering the ship to get to the next planet. He asked to join anyway. I thought it was going to be BG's "one or the other" style.

Also,

Is there a nonviolent way to get Wrex to back off if you DON'T have his armor (which is so disappointingly meh and random)?

If you talk to him during missions, he'll eventually mention he's looking for that armor (which he refers to as an old piece of shit, but has sentimental value), and I think he knows who has it. When you reach the planet where the guy is hiding, he mentions he wants to come along (similar to Garrus wanting to come with you to kill Dr. Heart).

Another nice thing is that if you wait too long to go to the Tau cluster to rescue Liara, she's almost dead when you reach her ("What...are you a mirage?" or something.). And instead of using the backdoor, you can turn off the laser barrier, as she tells you to. Dunno what makes the cave collapse then, my brother did it.

I'm pretty surprised Garrus isn't a romance option, too, considering his hero-worship of Shepard. I guess the fact that he looks vaguely like a cross between lizard and bird put David Gaider off. That and he doesn't act like a Carth clone.

that and the in-game encyclopedia says that human food can kill Turians, due to really uncompatible biology-things. So, I guess doing the nasty is probably out of question. Same goes for Krogans, since being able to survive in harsh climates means they probably have armored dicks and ejaculate acid. And Tali can't even take off her spacesuit without being overrun by germs. It's more elimination that actual taste.

Unfortunately, this doesn't hold up at ALL, because especially on higher difficulties, using the grenades to incapacitate them is easier. And not just easier, but incredibly easier. They have a GIGANTIC radius, and any colonist even scratched by it will just fall over. Now, if you were required to inject them with something in melee, or had been required to perform a lengthy and complicated task to save the colonists, it might have all added up, but combined with the fundamentally flawed design of the encounter, and the lack of any real consequence outside of paragon/renegade points, Feros epitomizes this games fucking failure.

Gameplay-story segregation. The same could be said of any game that requires you to, say, find the key to a door even though you could just hit it with a fireball. Or how you can be hit by a critical between the eyes for 0 damage in Fallout, and later heal it by eating a iguana-on-a-stick.

In feros, the reasoning is that it's always easier to just shoot someone instead of actually taking the risk of getting killed so you can save some chumps. Yes, your character is strong enough to walk over the zombies, but Shepard is risking getting eaten by zombies. Like those situations where your characters are surrounded by a group of generic enemies and have to surrender, even though stat wise you could trample them.

 

[Sander]

MOARZ

Also, for some reason Google Crome thinks getdropbox.com (where you're hosting your images) hosts malware, meaning I have to tell it to just load the damn page already instead of whining about possible malware.

 

[burrie]

Any chance of a continuation?

 

[Lesifoere]

I'm pretty surprised Garrus isn't a romance option, too, considering his hero-worship of Shepard. I guess the fact that he looks vaguely like a cross between lizard and bird put David Gaider off. That and he doesn't act like a Carth clone.

that and the in-game encyclopedia says that human food can kill Turians, due to really uncompatible biology-things. So, I guess doing the nasty is probably out of question. Same goes for Krogans, since being able to survive in harsh climates means they probably have armored dicks and ejaculate acid. And Tali can't even take off her spacesuit without being overrun by germs. It's more elimination that actual taste.

I never read the in-game wikipedia, but if that's the case, then the possibilities of fantastic fanfic porn are endless. Speaking of which, take a look at this archive:

Shepard and Garrus- two different species, but two very close comrades. Can Shepard and Garrus survive as more or will Shepard be forced to refrain as Humanity's hope for life at the cost of her own?

A short, sweet, silly, and slightly sad songfic, in which Shepard attempts to teach Garrus to dance and gets much more than she bargains for--and much less than she wishes. Garrus/Shepard fluff. Please read and review!

And hey, a gem!

"Garrus--"

"Shh. You don't need words for everything."

The drugged haze cleared from her luminous blue eyes, and she looked up at him in astonishment. He waited for her to do something, wondering as the seconds ticked past.

Almost without warning, he felt her lift her head, her lips pressing tentatively against his mouth. He couldn't help but feel a moment's frustration at his inability to return the gesture, but it quickly passed as he slid his hand under her head and held her body against his own, feeling her heartbeat resonate through his armor.

She didn't pull away until she started to feel dizzy from lack of breath, and only reluctantly then. He could tell she was struggling to maintain consciousness against the drugs, and he pulled back from her bed.

"Stay with me?" she mumbled indistinctly. The gentle pressure on her hand was all she needed.

She quickly slipped into a deeper, more natural sleep, a slight smile lighting her pale face. Garrus took a deep breath, his smile mirroring hers, an unfamiliar peace and glowing contentment settling in his heart.

When he could finally speak again, she was already fast asleep. But he leaned closer and whispered, "As you wish."

I guess fanfic writers didn't read the in-game Codex, either.

 

[Annie Mitsoda]

AUGH

I want to have un-read that. And to have un-vomited in my mouth.

DAMN I WANT MORE PLAYTHROUGH IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK

 

[Lesifoere]

If I dig, I'm sure I could find explicit ME alien/Shepard porn that's not Asari. The fangirls very much lust after Garrus and Wrex.

Also, Codexia's next-gen LPers tend to be cockteases.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

The fangirls very much lust after Garrus and Wrex.

1000x times better than lustin after Kaidan the drab

I'd totally do them if they didn't ejaculate acid

 

[Jaesun]

Oddly... even as a faggot.. I found Talia MUCH more..... interesting as someone to romance. Maybe in that we could NEVER EVER have a romance.... or she would die... or something.

Seriously, you would have to be gayer than me (?) to want to romance Wrex or Garrus.

Is that even... possible?

 

[Lesifoere]

Well, how gay are you exactly?

 

[VentilatorOfDoom]

The galaxy map is cool.
There should be Galaxy Map : The Game.

 

[Norfleet]

In feros, the reasoning is that it's always easier to just shoot someone instead of actually taking the risk of getting killed so you can save some chumps.

You have GRENADES. What's the RISK? You throw the grenades in, and if this doesn't work, you shoot 'em. So...the difficulty is, what, your arm might get tired from throwing the grenades?

 

[Clockwork Knight]

You have GRENADES. What's the RISK? You throw the grenades in, and if this doesn't work, you shoot 'em. So...the difficulty is, what, your arm might get tired from throwing the grenades?

Th risk being having to use one specific method to bring them down, instead of trampling them with lethal biotics and rifles. What if they rush you (they don't, but that's gameplay)? You still would have to use the grenades. Plus, and if this doesn't work, you shoot 'em means you're thinking as the EXTREME Shepard. If you don't want that to happen, you better keep throwing those grenades.

I guess you should imagine the whole situation as a movie or something. Forget stats or weapon types. Shepard should be under great stress and only a paladin-type hero would risk his neck to save some civilians (and since he's a spectre, nobody would bother him afterwards if he does kill them). I know I wouldnt care about some chumps if that means risking death by zombies.

Think about it as the two fags that attack you in Candlekeep at the beginning of Baldur's Gate. They're not trained assassins, just thugs, therefore a lvl 1 character can kill them. But your character should be scared because two random thugs sneaked in just to kill him. I would be fucking scared if random guys started trying to kill me, even if I could them with some ease.

tl;dr: it's about how the character feels about the whole thing. The player may not be scared of crossing a desert because he bought the best guns available, plenty of potions, etc. But the characters are still scared because they have to cross the Desert of Bum-Raping.

It would be better if they gave you an injection so you would have to melee the colonists. Would make more sense and would be harder. But that could be frustrating so everyone would simply kill the colonists, I guess.

Oddly... even as a faggot.. I found Talia MUCH more..... interesting as someone to romance. Maybe in that we could NEVER EVER have a romance.... or she would die... or something.

Seriously, you would have to be gayer than me (?) to want to romance Wrex or Garrus.

Is that even... possible?

Hey, I would go after Tali if she was available (if only for her voice, and butthurt nerd girl >>> nerd girl + racist).

Sure, I could simply refuse all romance options (because romances are for fags), but the game is short as a japanese dick already, and I'm not willing to make it even shorter by jumping parts of the story.

About Wrex and Garrus, I think that's how I would think if I was a gurl. As a guy, I want to put them in my party, so if I was a woman, I guess I'd want to fuck them.

Vigilante guy that is willing to risk innocents to catch the bad guy + Macho guy that just likes to kill things >>> Nice guy that is emo because he killed an old faggot with his psychic powers.

I guess Wrex and Garrus also have the "NEVER EVER have a romance or someone dies" thing, since Wrex probably cums acid and Garrus dies if he eats human food, so human body fluids probably kill him too.

Well, how gay are you exactly?

He uses a snake-like thing as his avatar.

 

[Norfleet]

Th risk being having to use one specific method to bring them down, instead of trampling them with lethal biotics and rifles. What if they rush you (they don't, but that's gameplay)? You still would have to use the grenades. Plus, and if this doesn't work, you shoot 'em means you're thinking as the EXTREME Shepard. If you don't want that to happen, you better keep throwing those grenades.

I prefer to see it more as "tactical flexibility". You always have to have a plan B. EXTREME Shepard didn't plan beyond "shoot everything". I see it more as "We'll try it, and if that doesn't work, there's always plan B.".

I guess you should imagine the whole situation as a movie or something. Forget stats or weapon types.

I don't know anything about the stats or weapon types. I didn't actually play the game. I'm just evaluating it it based on a pragmatic assessment of the options described.

Shepard should be under great stress and only a paladin-type hero would risk his neck to save some civilians (and since he's a spectre, nobody would bother him afterwards if he does kill them). I know I wouldnt care about some chumps if that means risking death by zombies.

Yes, but here's the thing: There isn't much of a RISK yet. You throw grenades at them. It's a fairly safe distance attack, and forms part of the standard attack strategy anyway. It doesn't get hairy until it doesn't work.

Think about it as the two fags that attack you in Candlekeep at the beginning of Baldur's Gate. They're not trained assassins, just thugs, therefore a lvl 1 character can kill them. But your character should be scared because two random thugs sneaked in just to kill him. I would be fucking scared if random guys started trying to kill me, even if I could them with some ease.

Having been in this position before, I can tell you from experience that at the moment where they are actually trying to kill you, the idea that you should be afraid of this has not quite entered your mind. It's only after the action has been resolved that pesky questions like "Who sent these guys?" and the idea that you could have actually died or not actually begins to enter your brain.

tl;dr: it's about how the character feels about the whole thing. The player may not be scared of crossing a desert because he bought the best guns available, plenty of potions, etc. But the characters are still scared because they have to cross the Desert of Bum-Raping.

Well, crossing a desert is never fun, even if you have the best guns available. In fact, having the best guns available may be a bit counterproductive. The best guns tend to be finicky things that don't take well to harsh desert environments full of blowing sand. These things just aren't in the game at all, but certainly the characters should perhaps question whether their fancy rifles will still work!

It would be better if they gave you an injection so you would have to melee the colonists. Would make more sense and would be harder. But that could be frustrating so everyone would simply kill the colonists, I guess.

Isn't that sort of the point, though?

 

[Trithne]

Well, crossing a desert is never fun, even if you have the best guns available. In fact, having the best guns available may be a bit counterproductive. The best guns tend to be finicky things that don't take well to harsh desert environments full of blowing sand. These things just aren't in the game at all, but certainly the characters should perhaps question whether their fancy rifles will still work!

That's just the thing. It'd be easy to make a game today, even back in the day, that factored that into account and decided that your weapon was jammed because a fuckton of sand got into it. But they don't, because that sort of fiddling doesn't appeal to the majority of gamers.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

Yes, but here's the thing: There isn't much of a RISK yet. You throw grenades at them. It's a fairly safe distance attack, and forms part of the standard attack strategy anyway. It doesn't get hairy until it doesn't work.

Sure, but you never had to rely on grenades as the only attack available if you wanted to do something. The risk isn't the attack itself (which is fairly safe) , but the fact that shepard would have to put himself into bad positions, etc. because he wants to hit them with a grenade, while the thorians are walking around.

sorta like a terrorist holding a hostage. You CAN easily mow them down with a machine gun from cover with zero risk, but you're risking getting shot by the terrorist if you want to find a spot to hit only him.

Isn't that sort of the point, though?

Yes, but that didn't happen, so we have to speculate on the risk of having to use grenades

 

[Kthan75]

Is this LP abandoned, RK?

 

[RK47]

: You gave something to Saren. Something I need.

: What a horrible line to open a deal, she might as well wave her gun to add +10 to intimidation.

Asari Clone : Saren sought knowledge of those who are gone. The Old Growth listened to the flesh for the first time in the Long Cycle. Trades were made.

: (Saren must've made a deal with this thorian, but decided not to honor the deal and sent the geth to wipe out the infected colonists of Zhu's Hope.)

: Negotiations failed. What a surprise.

: Bioware.

: I won't let you keep your thralls. Release them. Now!

: Very persuasive.

: There wasn't really an option to negotiate. I suppose it's asking too much of the Thorian to broker another deal after it's been betrayed by Saren.

: And you still dissed me for killing the Rachni Queen?

: That was different. She was at your mercy. She was in a very poor position to negotiate, she's stuck in a tank with acid vats right on top of her.

: So she lied, begged and promised to be a good girl if I let her go with no strings attached. It's easy to keep promises, but hard to keep them. A thousand eggs hatched later, and we're probably looking at 'HALP SHEPARD' in another far-off colony.

A short battle followed and Shepard team succeeded in taking down the Thorian by ripping apart its gigantic tentacles that kept it suspended. Once destroyed, the Thorian loses its grip on the ruins and plunged deeper into Feros subterranean level.

: Is everything alright? Are you hurt?

Shiala : I am fine. Or I will be, in time. My name is Shiala. I serve-- I served Matriarch Benezia. When she allied herself with Saren, so did I. Benezia foresaw the influence Saren would have. She joined him to guide him down a gentler path. But Saren is compelling. Benezia lost her way.

: Are you saying Saren can control minds?

Shiala : Benezia underestimated Saren. As I did. We came to believe in his cause and goals. The strength of his influence is troubling.

: Typical asari meddling. About time it bit you in the ass.

: Asari Matriarchs are among the most intelligent and powerful beings in the galaxy. How could one fall under Saren's control?

Shiala : Saren has a vessel. An enormous multi headed dick unlike anything I've ever seen. He calls it Sovereign. It can dominate the minds of his followers. They become indoctrinated to Saren's will. The process is subtle. It can take days, weeks. But in the end, it is absolute. I was a willing slave when Saren brought me to this world. He needed my biotics to communicate with the Thorian, to learn its secrets. Saren offered me in trade. I was sacrificed to secure an alliance between Saren and the Thorian.

: Saren's pretty quick to betray his own people.

Shiala : He was quick to betray the Thorian, too. After he had what he wanted, he ordered the geth to destroy all evidence of its existence. Saren knowns you are searching for the Conduit. He knows you are following his steps. He attacked the Thorian so you could not gain the Cipher.

: What's the Cipher? And why did Saren need it?

Shiala : The beacon on Eden Prime gave you visions. But the visions are unclear, confusing. They were meant for a Prothean mind. To truly comprehend them, you must think like a Prothean. You must understand their culture, their history, their very existence.

: Wait. Stop a goddamn moment. Why the fuck did they do that?

: Do what?

: (Intelligence) Why did the Prothean made messages that can only be understood by their own dying race? Didn't they realize they were doomed already and what's left out there are just enslaved Protheans, incapable of independent thought and were abandoned when the Reapers have finished their once every hundred years buffet party and returned to nigger space to hibernate?

: (Wisdom) Bioware.

: (Extreme) Fuck.

: Yes, much like explaining the concept of choices and consequences to you.

: Give it another year, you'll see them. These things take time.

Shiala : To understand, you must have access to endemic ancestral memory. A viewpoint spanning thousands of Prothean generations.

: Sigh, all that shit just for the message to spell out: CITADEL - ITZ A TRAP! Fuck it. All this asari mumbo jumbo is pointless. Can we just skip this, Codex?

: Heh, I'll try. I know I'm tired of listening to it - TWICE.

: ZZZZZZZZZZZ

: Motherfucker!

 

[Clockwork Knight]

4th pic needs fixin' (same as 3rd)

 

[RK47]

With Commander Shepard's show of restraint and courage in dealing with both the Thorian and Geth threat, most of the colonists in Feros survived.

: The colonists will need all the help they can get. They'll be happy to have you on their side.

Shiala : Thank you, Commander. May fortune smile upon you.

: Look at them, Extreme One. The people she saved, the gratitude in their eyes. Imagine what would have happened if you had shown restraint when you were in Feros.

: Enough of this shit. If I was wrong, why wasn't I punished? Nobody went after me for what I did. Only the goddamn Council yak after the debrief, but they still let me do what I wanted. Whatever terrible consequences that was caused by the choices I've made, did not happen.

: Or perhaps, HASN'T happened...

: Bring it on. I'm prepared to deal with it.

Back at the Normandy.

: Fast forward, motherfucker!

: Everytime she did that mind-fuck she gets a headache herself, wtf?

The debriefing is over and Shepard sends a report to the Council.

Salarian Councilor: You might have been able to capture it for study instead of destroying it.

: The Thorian like to enslave minds Anyone who studied it would've ended up as one of its thralls.

Asari Councilor : Perhaps it's for the best, then. At least the colony was saved.

: Fucker's all butt hurt, no matter what I do it seems.

: Being human had nothing to do with it. They were in trouble.

Asari Councilor : Good bye, Commander. We'll be waiting for your next report.

: Oh. My. God.

: Fascinating. Kaidan, the Forever Reincarnated Joinable Male Bioware NPC or Liara the Forever Reincarnated Joinable Female Bioware NPC. Which one is better and why? Discuss!

: Maybe we should try to work this out.

: I think we must. I may not know much about human relationships, but I understand the concept of jealousy.

: LOL. Take that Gay-dan!

: I am not exactly a woman, Lieutenant. My species only has one gender.

: Don't forget only tits and vagina.

Choosing the third option would lead to...

And Liara will take Shepard, instead. However, the vote favors Kaidan, so we're going with the top option...

: But you're special to me, Kaidan.

: But what about Liara? Is she "special", too?

: If I were Kaidan, I'd be open for a three way relationships. Just imagine, vanilla and blueberry ice cream! Oh Gawd it's HEAVAN!

: Look, I never meant for you to get hurt. But Kaidan's the only one I really care about.

This is a fucking terrible line.

: I understand, Commander. Perhaps it is for the best; he is one of your own kind. I am sure you and Kaidan will be very happy.

: LAWL, she's implying that Shepard is a racist?! HAHAHAHA

: I should go. I need to...check on something.

: Congratulations, Kaidan. You just beat an alien lesbian chick for the love of your live, the first human Spectre and your commander as well. How do you feel?

: I'm surprised. You sounded so angry at me a minute ago.

OH KAIDAN.

 

[Darth Roxor]

Confused, EH?

 

[Clockwork Knight]

Kaidan's p retarded, I blame the biotics chip things

"Hey, want threesome"

" fuck u lezzies "